Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Death of our locals?

Walking into my local hostelry, meeting Friends and acquaintances, in the age old ritual of having a few beers with the lads, a couple of jars at the end of the working week. Sitting down in company with the tipple of your choice, be it a pint of bitter or mild, lager or Guinness, your packet of fags close at hand, aah the sheer extravagance of it all.

The old timers sat in the corner, us middle aged buggers nearby, and around us the youngsters, nipping into the local for a few bevvies before hitting the town. The old timers reminiscing about what once was, the middle aged trying to put the world to rights, the youngsters joking and reminding us of how we once were.

Yes there really are pubs still like that in England, I know I visit one, I'm what you call a regular, not specially well known, but a face that people have got to know, and nod at in passing. As I nod and say hello to others that I recognise. Its not a pub full of loud music, its not a pub with a terrific turn over, it just about holds its own and makes a small profit.

All this is going to be gone soon, there's no room for we normal folks, be it the old timers, us middle aged even the youngsters are on their way out, we all are!

How many local pubs are going to lose custom and go to the wall all over a packet of fags?

You see when smoking became frowned upon, and the non smokers started complaining about the smell, and lets be honest its usually the ex smokers that are worst for that, we gave them no smoking areas, tried to keep the smoke away from them, gave them there own space. Did we whinge and moan, nah ever eager to please, we made room! If the Pub was large enough they got their own rooms, but they never stayed in them, they wanted to be where the smokers were, where you can have a laugh, take the piss, act the goat.

Fair enough if the pub served food, then yeah make it non smoking, but a local, that exists not for the smokers but because of them. If that pub doesn't serve food, it should have the right to be a smoking pub, or even a non smoking pub.
But its not going to work, for all that the non smokers state, that they will start going to the pub once its free off all the smoke. They won't, after a few weeks, the pubs will lose its soul, the camaraderie, the laughter, the jokes and then the pub will die, and with it another part of the community will be gone. Another nail in the coffin of the, if not English, then surely the Lancashire way of life, a way thats endured so many trials, so many hardships, fought for so much and expected nothing in return, only to be left in piece.

But this isn't really about smoking, its about control, its about doing as we say and not as we do! I can accept that smoking is bad for you, but its good for non smokers, its got to be, you see, us smokers we die younger than non smokers. So we get to spend less of any pension the state sees fit to give us, which means more brass in the pot for you long lived clever arses that never started smoking. We pay more tax than you non smokers n'all, 4 quid n some change in tax, on a packet of fags that cost 40 pence to make. Aah you say, but you cost the NHS, with your smoking related diseases, bollocks says I, we bloody pay fer t'NHS with tax on us fags!

But anyroad lets not argue, lets sit n sup whilst we can, cause its not over yet, you think you non smokers have won some bloody great battle, well I'll tell thee, tha's won nowt! Cause your bloody next, as god is my judge, i'll make thee that promise.

Lets think on folks what yon governments done fer us,
They stole our pensions, to prop up there own,
They live on steak, but throw us yon bone.
they've sold out the queen, next t'll be throne,
Snoopers are comin, to look round yer 'ome.
yer taxes have risen, many more are yet due,
so why sit n tell me, I hav'nt a clue.
I can ruddy see its coming, for I'm non so blind,
stealin from t'poor, there own pockets to line.
But its to be hoped, as God grants me boon,
Comeuppance is due, and non to soon.
In the style of Samuel Laycock.
LFB_UK 2007.
Many apologies for my going off topic as it were, but I am a lancashire lad, and as oft as not I like to slip back into the native lanky twang.

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Monday, February 26, 2007

Constitution Via the back door!

Now I am not a euro sceptic, or a europhobe, in fact I am not Euro anything.

See, I was and am English, now tony blair and the Scottish twats that run this country, seem to have made it harder and harder to be "just English". We must be British! nope sorry I am English, I was born in England, ergo I am English! So bollocks to the English haters amongst those of the ruling elite. We let the scots join us cause they live right next door same as the welsh, doesnt mean I want to be scottish or welsh, Ireland should be Irish, lets get rid!

By the same token I am not European, I do not agree with it, am not a member of it, and don't want to be a part of it. See I cannot for any reason see the point of being "in Europe", ffs these thick bastards caused the biggest world wars in the planets history! They have rules coming out there asses, if it ain't legislated you can't do... wtf, in good old England you can do what the hell you like as long as there is not a law against it. Your guilty until you prove yourself innocent in Eorope .. and how the feck can you do that from a prison cell? Where as in England you are presumed innocent until the state proves beyond reasonable doubt that you are guilty. We have trial by jury, made up of 12 good and true men/women... not a magistrate who will decide if there is a case to answer. At least with a jury you know some of the buggers got laid, unlike a magistrate who missis had a headache, so the first poor bastard in front of him is going down, as his wife didnt!

We drive on the correct side of the road, we queue for things, we moan about the weather, we have odd hobbies, like train spotting, and drama groups. We whinge about the rest of Europe and moan about how unlike us they are. It ain't racist its fucking realism, we don't have as much corruption in our politicians as they do. We are sceptical about most things our government tell us, we are blase about our laws, cause we know that whilst not perfect, its better than the shite they have in Europe. We believe in fair play, stiff upper lip etc, we don't mind the paki shops, bloody hell if it wasn't for the paki shops we wouldn't have Tesco's opening 24 hours! We like having arguments about anything even when we agree, we disagree about how much we agree, well that us, that's the English! We dont use imperial measurements or metric, we ask for a couple of apples, a touch of pepper and bit of common sense. Thats the English way!

Chinky's or Indians, its good food and we will eat it. But by eating it doesn't mean we subscribe to their religion, ffs they wanna be Islamic, Hindus whatever, just don't try and convert me mate and we will get on fine... Oh and another potion of egg fried rice whilst we are going on about it. You wanna dress funny go right ahead, just don't try and force anyone to dress the same way, you want to live here, then learn the fucking language, we are lazy bastards and cant be arsed, but then after all its our country, if I wanted to learn Indian/Chinese/Iraqi I would go the country or at least to college to learn, your here, therefore I don't have to. Your here and we reserve the right to take the piss out of you for the way you speak, not cause its nasty, but cause it really does sound funny as fuck! But you chose to live here cause you know its the best place in the world to live. We take the piss and deep down that means we like you, or have you not cottoned on to that yet?

We use war as a last resort, well we did till silly twat blair agreed to back bush, we try to keep our word, we recognise that we are slightly mad, but we rejoice in the madness we share, we love our eccentrics, like Boris Johnson.... ffs in any other country that bugger would have been shot by now, we have Jeremy Clarkson and his lovely hamster, which he finally got back, albeit after a beating about the head at 300 miles per hour. We embrace, but not literally, Janet Street Porter, she is a complete fuckwit, but she swears and we like that, we like the fact that she tells it as she thinks it is even if she does speak absolute shyte!

We are as a race completely fucked up, but for us it works, we don't need to join a club, that once your in you cant get out. We want to make our own rules, we want the house of lords, cause we know they're fucking mad as hatters, but we keep them where they have something to do and they don't annoy the horses or ladies! We like having our own money and spending it, we dont need the EU to tell us how and when we can spend it, and on which other countries, ffs charity begins at home not in Poland or Solvinia!

We don't trust our politicians, so we have an institution we call the house of commons so we know just where we put them, we know the house of lords will keep them in paper work for five years, so it will keep them busy and lets us normal folk get on with earning a living. Then after four or five years we trot the silly fuckwits out to give us all a laugh at election time, and take the piss out of John Snow and his swingometer.

Well that was the case until some foreign fuckwit had the idea of the EU, and a dopey cunt called ted heath lied through his back teeth, and got us to join. Now the aforementioned said EU passes about 75% to 80% of our legislation, sorry but I thought that was what we paid our politicians to do? The EU had an idea of a constitution, now I hate the fucking frogs as much as the next bloke, but to give them their due, the froggies saw through it and said Non, or in plain English No!
Now one would have thought that that would be the end of it, but no the fuckwits in the EU still want the constitution, so they have had a brainwave, lets call it a mini treaty, that way no fucker gets a referendum on it especially those English twats! In order to sell it to Blair we will let him think he can be the first EU President!

Well I have a motto, its dead easy and really understandable by all. It is "You want to fuck me? kiss me first, you don't kiss me, you don't get to fuck me!" I get the impression that the EU not only wants to fuck me, it wants to fuck me via the back door, and that as the froggies say is a NON!!! I won't bend over and be shafted by anyone!!!!

Friday, February 23, 2007

UKIP get my vote!!

Since I can remember, almost it seems since time immemorial, each major political party has been slighted by the other for financial wrongdoing. If it's not the Tories having a go a Labour, it's Labour having a go at the Tories, and the poor man relations, Lib Dem's doing nothing. Well apart from good old Ginger Minger Kennedy, who was outed for being a piss head, which is just about as bad as the Lib Dem's get!

Anyway over the last few months, more so after the Cash for Peerages fiasco, I have become like thousands of others disillusioned with mainstream politics, they are all the bloody same. The are all so alike at times it hard to know the difference. So being an inquisitive type of bloke, (okay Karen, yeah I admit it I'm a nosey B'stard) I started doing some research, looking around the Internet, trying to find out why all the parties were so alike.

From the Labour Party website, to the Tories and on to the poor old relations the Lib Dem's, I looked and read, and surprisingly found no bloody answers, to be honest I thought it was all some sort of conspiracy, they were all hiding something, nothing seemed as open as it should have been. You know the feeling, your at a family do, wedding etc, your brothers trying to get into the bridesmaids knickers, your uncles pished as a fart showing his willy off etc etc, and as you walk to the bar, you can see the topic change as you get nearer, and some sixth sense tells you, you've been the topic of conversation. Well either you, your spouse or the kids etc etc. Well that's the sort of feeling I got, something not quite right.

Well I remembered vaguely about Kilroy Silk, and that he had joined UKIP, other than that they didn't want the pound abolished, I had not a clue about them, who the politicians were, their aims etc etc. In fact if I am honest I probably felt like you did and still do, that they were the lunatic fringe, the always good for a laugh Monster Raving Loony type Party. I had swallowed the other parties line that they weren't worth considering, so I had a look.

Now the UKIP website is actually crap, really it is biggest loada bollocks since I don't know when, ffs even I could design something better. It's just not attractive enough, and the purple and yellow colours, YUK!!! But what the hell each to his/her own, so as the colours put me off, (I know childish or what, but some colours just leave me dead) I didn't read anything, I just though crap site, crap party, instant decision, you get the idea.

So here I am drifting along the Internet, flicking from page to page, hoping something will catch my eye, and I found this guy Devils Kitchen, please be advised as they do with music Cd's, his site has Parental Advisory Explicit Content. Boy the way this guy can swear!!! and yet be at times be so funny with it.

Nothing is beneath his "fisking", and he takes people and their opinions apart piece by piece, especially MSM (Main Stream Media) Newspaper journalists who don't check their facts, and think people will swallow any bull they come up with. He is just as respectful towards our dearest politicians, who we know only look after our best interests! and are as we all know are as honest as the day is long. (Yeah I know I don't do sarcasm very well) PLease just go and read his site, look at the Polly Toynbee posts to get an idea of what I mean.

So I found DK, and he led me to others, and I found a world of hidden politics, a world of people with different ideas and agendas, different political leanings but who were all commited to telling the truth, something the MSM does no longer appear to do!

I know reading back on what I have posted so far, it seems to be an advert for DK, but I do not agree with all that he says, but about the EU he has me convinced! He tells it as it is, no holds barred no punches pulled, and as with others in the blogosphere, anyone can comment on his site, can argue the toss, put your own point over, and again as with others he will engage and explain, and if doesn't know the answer he will find out who does.

After finding out the truth, and reading other peoples sites, other peoples ideas, I have come to the conclusion that UKIP get my vote!

For as DK has eloquently put it "in this post" we do not actually need the EU as much as it needs us!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Tony has an Idea.... More Laws !!!! .... yawn again?

When will Tony Blair actually start to learn, that new laws are not needed. All that is needed is a willingness to act on the laws we already have in place!

After the shameful killings of the past week, Teflon Tone, has again espoused the idea of, Yeah you guessed it more laws. Just for once Tony get your head outta your ass and let the Police use the laws that are in place! Get them away from their desks filling in governmental endless "target led" forms, that could perhaps be work for the plastic policemen that you have created.
Put Policemen out on the street, doing what they are supposed to be doing "protecting the public", solving crimes, and by that I mean real crimes, not handing out Fixed Penalty Notices to gobby teenagers!

"Mr Blair has told the BBC he is considering criminalising gang membership" Well coming from the leader of one of the biggest gangs, ie the Labour Party I think thats a bit rich! After all we all, and I do mean all belong to some sort of gang, albeit political or social. Members of the Squash Club/Sailing Club/Drama Group, are they not merely a civilized or grown up sort of gang, we as humans all like to belong to something. To be a part of something that we feel kinship with. Anyone over 35 who has had a normal childhood, will have been part of either the street gang, or a part of a gang in some form.

What is worrying is that the legislation when and if it comes, will be so ambiguous, that the societies and clubs that most law abiding people subscribe to will come under any new laws remit.

As has been said by many people more educated than my self, "Lawyers do not make good Laws". Indeed, Edmund Burke has pointed out that men skilled in legal technicalities are not in the habit of taking broad views in the making of a law. They look more to its letter than to its spirit.

Liberty and Freedom

Whilst browsing, just flicking through the usual blogs I read, I came across a piece that Unity on the MoT had put together.

I cannot agree more with the statement and I cannot fault the reasoning behind its publication by Unity.

Please Please if nothing else, spend five mins out of your life and read it.



It has been a little while since my last post, which was around about the same time as my birthday.

The reason for my absence, two days after my birthday my Dad died, it was very very unexpected and very shocking. For days I was locked into a haze of emotions, that almost crippled me, at times I could see nothing and feel even less.

As the eldest son it was my duty to say a few words at the requiem mass held for my father, below is what I said.

First of all on behalf of my mother and the immediate family, I would like to thank you all for coming here today, to say farewell to my father Francis C.

I have thought long and hard, wrote pages and pages of notes and stories, to try and give you an idea of "Our Dad", an idea or snapshot that I could pass onto you, but words would and could never be enough.

My Dad was not perfect, he was a man, nothing more nothing less, a good man, an honest man, a gentleman. But he was the best man I knew, if I can be one tenth the man he was then I feel I will have achieved something.

In closing all I ask is that everyone takes stock for a moment and think of their loved ones, tell them how you feel, tell them you love them. The last words I heard my father say were on my birthday when he and my Mum called to wish me many happy returns, he at the end of the call said "I Love You Son, Bye". For this I am eternally grateful!

Thank you for everything Dad, I love you Goodbye!

The phonecall I mentioned happened two days before he died, once again, Thank you for everything Dad, I love you Goodnight and Goodbye, Your everloving Son Alan x x x

I would like to thank Karen my wife for her help in getting me through this, my eldest son's Craig and Jamie, for being my anchorage points, even in the midst of their own grief. My great friend Graham for being one of the Pallbearers, the list of people to thank could go on and on, so many many thanks to everyone.
My love always and ever to Mum and my sister Sharon x x x


Saturday, February 03, 2007

Personality Cluster...

Your Personality Cluster is Extraverted Intuition
You are:
A true wordsmith - a master of wordsOriginal, spontaneous, and a true inspirationHighly energetic, up for any challengeEntertaining and engaging, both to friends and strangers