Wednesday, July 25, 2007


I have/had a JackRussell terrier, it lives in Blackpool with my eldest sons. Now one of the reasons I believe in re-incarnation is the dog. Nope I don't mean the bugger can talk, or do any stupid doggie tricks.

Its just that the dog likes to have a drink, he will at a pinch drink red wine, actually nicking out of any glass put on the floor. But he prefers lager, not really a posh dog as any lager would do, usually Fosters or Carling. He hates spirits with a vengeance, and will run rather than drink whisky or vodka. The dog even has his own party trick, you remember a while back all the rage seemed to be the small bottles of French beer, Beer D'ore or something it was called, anyway the dog could actually open these small bottles with his teeth and drink the beer from the bottle. Quiet literally lifting the bottle in his teeth. Now don't get me wrong he was a clever dog because he always knew when he had had enough, usually two or three bottles. Then he would settle down for a sleep. Usually this really impressed any of Craig's mates that he had brought home with him, even the girls thought it was cute.

Now having an 18+ year old living at home invariably, he enjoys a drink, and when the pubs are emptying he brings home a curry, which as his eyes are usually too big for his belly, means the dog gets to finish whats left. Craig has on occasion been coerced by friends to eat gradually stronger and stronger curries, with no ill effects and the dog got the left overs.

After a night out Craig and his mate Ashley, being full of themselves and the beer that the Burlington sells, started an eat the hottest curry going argument, now most blokes will have done the same at some point in their lives. You know buy the hottest and just try and force the bugger down, Ashley being rather more sensible one on this occasion, settled for a Vindaloo but offered to pay for Craig's curry but only on condition that he finished it completely.

Craig ordered a Fahl, now in my youth I have had a few curries, some real bum burners, but had never heard of a Fahl. So anyway Craig and Ashley arrive back, Craig opens the cans as Ashley dishes out the grub. Being a rather nosy sod I asked what they had bought, and actually tried a forkful of the Fahl. This stuff is fucking lethal, it melts the fillings out of your teeth, you dont actually feel it going down your throat as the fire in your mouth is seeping through to your brain! It felt like my taste buds were melting! When it actually hits the bottom of your stomach, its very close to have a nuclear bomb going off, in short the stuff is fucking horrendous, you could clean drains out with it, it would decimate the Caustic Soda trade over night if they bottled it! This is not something you could ever eat sober, you would have to be really really sozzled to even contemplate trying.

They come through to the lounge with beers and food, having just tried the Fahl I am more than interested to see how Craig actually gets on with it. The first 30 to 40 seconds he appears to be doing well, then the sweat starts upon his brow, his face gains a rosy tinge and he quaffs half a beer. Much laughter from myself and Ashley, and Craig gamely tries again. Now I will be fair he managed about a quarter of the plateful he had in front of him, before giving up. So only for that he earned some kudos, but what happened next was a shocker for all of us.

Having put his plate on the floor, to gulp more beer in order to put out the fire in his mouth and belly, the dog, proceeds to eat the Fahl, words couldn't express our shock, Craig got out his mobile and proceeded to film the dog eat the Fahl! "He's got tears in his eyes!" Craig said, and he had, the dogs eyes were weeping, but he wouldn't stop eating the Fahl! The dog cleared the plate, he ate every scrap and then licked the plate clean! We were all shocked and amazed, the dog then went up on his hind legs, his front paws on Craig's knees and burped in Craig's face, honestly had you been there you would have reached the same conclusion, the dog was saying "Wimp!! that's how you do it!"
After discussion we believe that the Dog has been here before, simply because of his attitude when he burped at craig as if to say thats how you do it!

The dog now has a massive reputation amongst Craig's friends and acquaintances as being the "Curry Dog"!

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Blogger kate said...

Great story, love the fact you say you swear too much as thats my vice i try and cut down but if your really angry a rant of flip sugar and blast just doesnt cut it.

5:22 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LFB the legend
same old you good to see
mail me

3:38 pm  

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